Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Letter

Dear Heidi,

I refer to the below photograph of your performance at the Miss Universe pageant. Fortunately I was unable to watch what I have heard describe as an abomination, however I did see the below photograph and I immediately felt horror and embarrassment for you!

Maybe you were too young or you're currently suffering from Alzheimer's Disease, I'm not sure. But do you not remember the 2000 VMA's when Britney performed "I'm A Slave For You?" Why are you ripping off her wardrobe? Did The Hills cut your salary to make room for Kristin Cavallari, forcing you to go through Britney's donations to Good Will???

I now refer to exhibit two: Britney's outfit is not only better all around, but she also rocks this look a hell of a lot better than you do!

Poor sweet ignorant Heidi, there is a lesson to learn from this - don't try to imitate a legend when you'll never even be good enough to be a has been! It only makes you look worse, if that's even possible! And should the world be unfortunate enough to suffer through another of your hideous performances again, please, for your own good, instruct your costume designer to have an original thought instead of ripping off performers who are actually talented and dressing you in attire that's 9 years out of date!
Pink Julep



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